Wednesday, May 15, 2013

2013 where did you come from?

I haven't wrote here in a long time. As I was getting ready for bed last night I thought to myself. Man so much has happen and so much is happening that I should blog it. Even if no one reads this at least it can be my own kind of journal. My oh my. Where Cindi DO you begin or where do you want to begin. I have been through so many changes in life. I am married, have a little Boy who is 16 months old, I'm a stay at home mom and I help with Dogs2ndChance dog rescue. We have 2 boy in the house everyday. One mine, one I watch, since he was 12 weeks old and is 6 weeks younger then my son. So that in its self can make for crazy days. Lets add though that we have 5 dogs that stay in the house. 3 are ours and 2 are fosters rescued straight from the street, by yours truly. 1 cat, that stays in one side of the house. My house is to say the least chaotic and wild at times. There always seems to be something going on or some major catastrophe that is happening or I'm trying to divert from in one way or another. There are a couple of real life lessons I have had to learn, which I can't quite put into words yet. I have so many opinions of things that are going on in this crazy world. I am blessed there is no doubt about that. However, my transition from the working world into marriage, pregnancy and staying home was very trying and hard at first. I was so used to fending for myself and making my own way. When my hubby and I decided that I would stay home it was so hard, mentally and emotionally. I'm sure I was not prepared for it. I felt useless, like I was not contributing to our lives financially and that was really hard. Being home and pregnant. Which I was sick and slept all the time made me feel completely and utterly useless. My hubby tried to comfort me and tell me repeatedly that I was making a baby and that was a job in itself. That didn't really help at first. I got over that in time and accepted his words as my own truth. With out his support I'm sure things for me mentally could have been a lot different. Then the birth or my son, which the story will be its own blog in it's self due to the stupidity of those in the hospital. Once home, I was not really sure what to do. I can say it was a lot easier when he and his friend were little. I found solace in the fact that I was helping raise and mold 2 little beings. At times tremendously hard and trying and still is. Then the multitude of dogs that came to our old house. The neighborhood doggies, I watched over feed and tried saving. A lot of time and effort was spent helping them. I did get a lot of them into rescue groups and ended up with 2 injured dogs that just walked into our house one day. With quick action and the right people I found a group that would pay the vet bills for them as long as we could foster. Which started my close relationship with Dogs2ndChance. Then there is my own personal spiritual journey. What I have learned and where I am compared to where I was. Everyone has their own journey and mine may not be the same as others. That's okay because it is mine alone. I cannot say I'm a Christian, Buddhist, Atheist or anything particular for that Fact. I am just on a journey. One saying I love is "I am not a human having a spiritual experience, but rather a soul having a human experience." I find this to be true and am trying everyday to see the bigger picture. Releasing old beliefs and trying to establish new ones. For myself the old ways no longer work. With all that being said. I want who ever reads this to know, that with social media the was it is now. Some I use and some I don't. I feel as if it is censored and people judge So I am here to say how I feel and How I see things in my own life and for any reason people do not like, my beliefs, ideas, or opinions then don't read this. Because I will say what I want to say how I want to say it. I guess that is all for now because I have to feed and getting my little ones down for a nap :)

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